I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just pynch a tree in the face
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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