Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i've created a new STD.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
