Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
