i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
