my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
