theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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