Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
