After last night, I could never be a politician.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
