Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
