i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
