:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
