Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
