so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
