; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
