i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
