do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
