3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's shark week go big or go home
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
