just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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