I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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