I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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