lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
