Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize