wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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