Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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