Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My ass is underappreciated
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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