wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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