Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
