i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
