Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
