i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
third nipple confirmed
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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