Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
