I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
