found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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