Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
