Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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