so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
