I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
