There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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