he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
