Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
