I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
