How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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