on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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