If i come over, it means nothing
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
