I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
