I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
