did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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