I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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