Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
