Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Found your dick twin last night
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
