those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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