He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize