so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
