It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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