it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's shark week go big or go home
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
