Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
