Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
