he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
