Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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